The mechanics of attraction..

As usual before agreeing to meet last night’s date I had seen her http://www.match.com profile photos and could see that she looked the part and was attractive. We also had some email & msn chat so I knew she wasn’t a complete retardo. It would be fair to say however that within a few minutes of meeting her I simply knew I wasn’t attracted to her. Strangest thing happened though; I still felt the need to make sure that she was attracted to me, which I found a wee bit strange. Like going for a job interview in the knowledge you didn’t really want the job but wanted to make sure you got offered the position in any case, despite not being sure why as you know you will never take it. It’s like, OK I may not be attracted to you sufficiently to consider a relationship but my ego needs you (and every female im not related to) to be attracted to me. It really is a lot of bollocks when you think about it. Not everyone on the planet can be attracted to you. It doesn’t even really come down to looks when you consider it. I have in the past been electrified by women who are not ‘traditionally’ attractive and yet had zero reaction to others who score higher on society’s sliding scale. Vice versa I’ve encountered complete dogs that wouldn’t lift their leg if I was on fire and conversely total stunners who hang on my every word. Weird.

In any case that thing we call the ‘X factor’ or ‘spark’ was not in the building for me. I wonder if any scientist out there has come up with a study to better understand the actual mechanics of attraction. Complete mystery to me. In saying all that of course (in the interests of full disclosure) I am as you know a red blooded male. We hunt, we are genetically programmed and socially conditioned to do so, we can’t help ourselves. Ladies reading this> Your partners will never admit it to you but they all hunt. Only difference is they do it for sport and throw their catch back in the water (some don’t of course). As for us singleton’s? We kill first, then taste, if we like it we devour, if we don’t we discard it for the scavengers. After around 45 minutes I hadn’t completely ruled out a second date. I may not have been attracted to her but she was nonetheless an attractive women. In any case that option evaporated when she drew things to a halt saying she was tired and had to go home for an early night, at fucking 19:45? Come on give me a break. Bottom line, the lack of attraction was completely mutual. Wouldn’t it be great to live on a planet where the following accurate and honest conversation could take place:

Her: I can tell you’re not attracted to me, I’m going home to watch the telly.

Me: That’s true, but your well put together and although I may not be sufficiently attracted to consider a relationship, if you fancy having a wrestle in the dark I’m game.

Her: Thanks for the offer but to be honest I’m not attracted to you either, I don’t make the distinction between dark room wrestling and relationships, I need to be equally attracted to someone for both.

Me: Fair enough, any chance of dropping me at my flat I’m only 10 minutes up the road?

Her: Would rather not if it’s all the same, I don’t know you from adam, you could be a car jacker or a rapist.

Me: OK then, best of luck, see you leter.

Her: Bye.